Healing Steps

Meet Now

Welcome to the Healing Steps

Welcome. This is a study group meeting of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. My name is ____________ and I am chairing today. The focus of this meeting is recovery through the study, application, and practice of reparenting. The Solution named in our program is to become your own loving parent. Working in The Loving Parent Guidebook helps us act as adults grounded in the present rather than reacting from childhood coping mechanisms.

Please check that all cell phones are silenced. We will close the meeting after about an hour. Let's open the meeting with the 3rd step prayer followed by a three-minute silent guided reparenting check-in. 

  1. Will everybody join in on the 3rd step prayer? (click)

  2. Reparenting Check-in

    1. GROUND Please adjust the intensity if needed during the check-in. You're invited to close your eyes or soften your gaze. Notice your breathing where it's most comfortable for you, without changing it. (Pause 5-10 seconds.) What emotion are you feeling? (Pause 5-10 seconds.) What physical sensations tell you that emotion is here? Let yourself feel, as best you can, whatever you're feeling.
    2. WHO Notice silently to yourself who needs the loving parent's attention now or in the recent past - the inner child, inner teenager, or both? It's okay if you don't know. (Pause 20-30 seconds.)
    3. WHAT What brought this state about? People, places or things? The critical parent or distorted thinking? Some combination? If you're feeling more "pleasant" feelings, perhaps the loving parent has been present. It's okay if you don't know. (Pause 20-30 seconds.)
    4. TEND  Once you're feeling connected, curious or compassionate toward the part of you who needs your loving parent's attention, tend to them while focusing on their feelings and needs. What do they need to hear or need you to do? It may be offerings words, comforting touch, or silence. (Pause for up to one minute.) As we close, I invite you to take a moment to ground yourself back into the present moment. (Pause) When you 're ready you can open your eyes or lift your gaze, and reconnect with the world around you.

  3. Meeting Boundaries (to be read at the first few meetings)

    1. Please indicate that you've finished sharing by saying "Pass."
    2. Please use the words "I, me, and my" to share your personal experience. Please avoid the use of "you, we, and us" except when speaking directly to your inner child or teenager, since it takes the focus off your unique perspective. 
    3. In this meeting we use relaxed crosstalk rules: commenting on each other's shares is accepted, but we avoid judgments, evaluations, and unsolicited advice. Even when advice is requested, we prefer to offer our own experiences in similar situations. A simple guideline is to share from the "I" position: "I think..." "I feel...", "I once had to deal with...". We're here to share and learn from each other's experiences.
    4. Anything heard at this meeting stays at this meeting. Please respect the privacy and vulnerability of those who shared here today.

  4.  Guidebook Work

    1. Let's take turns reading one or two paragraphs of the Loving Parent Guidebook starting on page____. 
      1. During reflections, guided practices, or exercises how you feel answering the reflection, guided practice or exercise is as important as what you answer. You may not have answers or experience anything in particular. That's okay too. If that's the case, include how you feel and what it's like to not have an answer or to dislike your answer. 
      2. Who would like to start reading?
    2. Ending a Chapter (To be read at the end of each chapter.)
      1. Once we've completed all questions and exercises in a chapter, let's take three minutes to review the chapter on our own, noting down our key chapter takeaway(s). After a few minutes of silence we'll open it up for brief sharing on our key chapter takeaway(s).

  5. Closing the Meeting

    1. Thank you all for sharing tonight. In closing, what we hear at this meeting should remain at the meeting. Please respect the anonymity and confidences of those who have shared here today.
    2. Are there any meeting announcements or business to discuss?
    3. Will a volunteer read the ACA Promises? (click)
    4. Let's take the next minute in silence to transition as we each wish. (1 minute) 
    5. Will a volunteer please close tonight with the ACA Serenity Prayer and Self Love Exercise? (click)